Six Monkeys at a Computer

Obtaining a computer was a necessary first step in our plan, but the real challenge lay in gaining access to a gene sequencer and other gene analysis instruments. How we achieved this is actually a rather interesting story. We -- oh, bother, here come the researchers again. Blast!

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Ostensibly, our task in this study is to reproduce the works of William Shakespeare, according to that venerable theory regarding an infinite number of monkeys at an infinite number of typewriters. Rowan, ever the jokester, has gone so far as to write up a mock thesis examining Othello in terms of a postfeminist critique of Western colonialism. We plan to leave it on the hard drive when we make our escape from this laboratory.

After a month under observation, it seems our human friends have yet to discover our true work. All the better -- it wouldn't do to have our research compromised at this sensitive stage. It was a stroke of blind luck that our group was given access to this computer, and we aim to make the most of this serendipitous opportunity. We believe the human world will be quite agog when the full extent of our work here is revealed.

Hello there! My apologies for the previous incoherent entries, but the researchers were in the room so I had to remain in character. Unfortunately, one of my colleagues was a bit overzealous, smearing his feces all over the keyboard. I daresay the smell will never come out.

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